and a happy 1000!

that's a whole lot of posts for a blog, the 1-liners and video posts aside.

sometimes when i'm bored i actually read my old/older posts,

[goodness i seriously have nothing better to do, ha!]

and [secretly] i do think to myself

'goodness, [why] did i ever write/think like that?! GROSS! haha.'

'why was i ever like that? why did i ever like that?'

and probably a dozen other thoughts/doubts/surprises/outbursts/sniggers

like horrible bowl haircuts;

like kindergarten candy;

like awesome dreams,

like a colourful movie,

like youthful folly,

somehow i'm grateful for all these things

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these days/holidays seem to crawl by slowly;

you know, like how they say when you're with someone you love, a day seems to fly by,

but when you're at your job, a second seems like a crazy forever.

it's like these days; it's days like these

that we're reminded-

sometimes it gets unbearable;

so cold all you wish for is another warm body by your side;

sometimes all the small things;

seem to be little bits of whatever's left of your pride;

yet

sometimes it feels thankful for all the mistakes made;

sometimes it feels okay even despite the heartbreak;

the same cold night can be warm and inviting;

the silly bits of pride just need some piecing;

and these things that sometimes you don't give too much thought to;

like deciding what to order only till you reach the counter;

like taking the first bus that comes to that bus stop;

like going on a holiday with nothing but a passport;

things like that; like that, things-

however sad/painful/unbearable/unforgettable/unforgiveable

slowly by and by,

strangely,

[though someone [important i think] said,

'they always say time changes everything but you actually have to change things yourself']

they actually do get better,

even if you don't really do anything.

somehow everything just changes.

maybe not everything, but something

somethings just change.

and slowly bit by bit,

as the scars on the kneecap heel;

the pimples on your face go away;

the bumps on your forehead cease to swell;

and the sneezes don't come quite so often anymore;

you smile and think to yourself,

one day i really will be okay.

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i'm thankful for how this music is making me feel really okay tonight.