it's funny how it's always unbelieveably fun to study in the b lounge during the pre-exam/exam cram period. you get all sorts of weird assortments of people, the regular friends, and of course, lots of dreaded modules/readings. altogether/put together they just add up to sudden outbursts in the middle of the night, a small mountain-ful of picnic/snack goodies [which loo's ET is very actively in the midst of clearing], loads of very funny catch phrases, and lots of plain, good ol' fun, joy and jokes.

somehow when people are put together with a common enemy [EXAMS!],

they just manage to bond in a way that's unimaginable.

and ironically some people/people's existence/people's personality that you don't really/never really got to know/never really say hello/don't usually acknowledge

you get to know better.

i think i vaguely remember in year two it was chang yung and man yan. last year it was xianyong and tee hong. and this year it's loo, her kim-dangerous-fingers-eun-taek and mr famous amos ong 照富.

i like that feeling;

from not knowing; from a silent awkwardness; from a strange existence;

to this nice warm comforting feeling; this knowing look, this comfortable chemistry, the group dynamics;

it's really awesome.

and it's somewhat sadly-ironic/bittersweet that only after wasting away 3 years did i, in my final year, finally find myself a real place in hall. finally, after so long, after the inadequacies, after countless thoughts of leaving, after highs and lows, after all these ordeals; finally, a place, a comfort zone, an equilibrium

just when i'm starting to enjoy the hall meals shower times and brainless banter; when im starting to enjoy jogging around school as a collective; when im starting to get used to the feeling of running around b3 corridor barefooted; when we start to conceive of [doing] all these crazy things together

time has to very kindly remind me that my time here is about [almost] over.

sometimes i think my turn/time came late,

that things were a mistake;

that i took a wrong turn,

and things got delayed.

but in the end i have no one to blame,

and nothing to complain about,

really.

because i am really grateful for this semester here.