starting to slowly fit into the workplace and pace.

there are a dozen reasons i could think of to leave
[the really-dreary long journey, irritating bus fare and bus ride, lack of satisfying pay, my homework piling up, project meetings and hall stuff clogging up my limited 24 hrs a day and 7 days a week, lack of time at home amongst 987654323456784123456789 other reasons, but well]

but really slowly as i get to know the people and place better it's getting the better of me and i'm getting fonder of the place and people by the minute.
i've got a really amiable and understanding, reasonable boss, super friendly, welcoming and generally helpful co-workers [with the exception of 1 whom i probably misunderstood but she still comes across to me as hostile and kind of scary so i just try to stay alert when she's there], really cool kitchen co-workers/staff, especially the dessert/pizza chefs sam and lyn, and the bartender/cashier wan, who have been really nice and cool to me and all.

the thing is, once you get to know people,
no matter how sucky the job is,

you get sucked in [literally] and your mind starts telling you that you get other kinds of satisfaction [other than financially] that is the REAL cause behind you going there

[it's the same thing as the paradigm in which you force psychology experiment participants to do a super boring test and then give them little or no cash compared to giving them a substantial amount of money,
and the former group rating the test as more interesting and the latter rating it as damn boring [which is what is was] because they attributed their behaviour of doing the test to the good cash while the poor sods who got little or no cash had to convince themselves they really liked the test and that it was fun]

but yeah, i'm not disliking it. despite complaining that i'm tired, blah blah.
but what annoys me the most is that if it's 10-10 i can never knock off punctually at 10. ending late at 1030 or even 1045 is fine if we get renumeration but the pissing part is we don't get paid for the extra 45 mins we've worked. even though i'm always punctual for work.

maybe i should go late for work to make up for the 45 mins extra late we end. ha.

but the creme bulee and the kaya muffin and the rosted soil cheesecake and the chocolate dessert and the mushroom pizza that i got to eat and didnt need to pay for [ohmygoditsallfood]

oh well.

sigh.
i'm getting sucked in already.
-------------------------------------------------

met mah honseng at the bus stop yesterday.
it was really funny, because for a second he looked at me, then right past me, which was funny because i recognized him right away. without hesitation. because he looked exactly the same as he was/how i remembered him.

and then he was overcome with surprise as i went up to him and said hello and sat down next to him [with 1 toenail less and 2 subway cookies in my stomach]



and then there for a moment,

as i sat next to ma honseng,

i really missed the times we were in choir together,
the times we stayed back late for practice,
the times we yelled across the corridor in bremen,
the times we spent practising and singing like crazy for syf,

i really missed him, i really missed shaun, i really missed ash, i really missed yi tuan, i really missed shermaine, i really missed ck, i really missed huey, i really missed screw, i really missed thom thom, i really missed bingxi, i really missed sne-ey, i really missed standing next to ben, i really missed ben a lot.
i really missed it all.

but things pass,
people come and go,

and also,

times/time change/have changed.
and i can't go back any longer.




[we should]
keep love for/to the future.

no?