there are endless shiny objects,

123456789876432134567 zillion things,

9876543456789098765 zillion places i want to go,

countless things that distract me [away, away from kendo]

the path is treacherous,

our timetables are unkind,

the training can get monotonous,

and sometimes you hit a bottleneck;

when things start getting busy, when frustration sets in,

when the relentless training doesn't seem to be showing any results

i feel myself straying, away from the path, away from you, away from your teachings.

becoming distracted, by other nice things, giving excuses, just pushing for [more] time

but yet when i see you again,

when i carry this shell,

when i set foot on this dojo

when my bare feet touch the floor,

when i flush and greet you, abashed,

all you do is smile, a little

and then you say,

'long time no see. how are you?'

and then i want to greet you again,

and apologize for my inability/reluctance/excuses

want to tell you everything i feel/how jaded i felt sometimes

want to be the kind of person you wanted me to/thought i could become

in front of these excited newbies,

you speak of kokoro,

and i remember it again;

that no matter how far i stray,

there is something in you,

a strength, a kindness,

and it draws me back.

and i remember,

why i was here,

why i am here,

because,

i wanted to be strong,

just like you.

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peter sensei was talking to us, about how busy he was and wanting to spend on time on other things but really having to do a lot of things due to his position in SKC and then i said,

'the reluctant president'

and then for some reason,

nono laughed and then, looking at my puzzled expression,

he said,

'it reminds me of you'.

yes, mr reluctant captain yourself.

well, ex lah. for the both of us.

oh well.

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if i could,

i would be like a cat,

i would roam around all day;

my heart belongs to nobody, my soul roams free

there is nothing that amazes me, nothing captivating

nothing that preoccupies my thoughts, bids me to stay

because the world is so wide, so big, so wonderful, amazing

i would pursue it, relentlessly

without a care [in the world]

i have no home, no owner,

i depend on nobody,

i depend on no one.

i belong to nobody,

i belong to no one.

and

i leave no trace,

nothing in my wake.

my pride is enough to feed a lion,

my bravery enough to fight a dragon;

i am a cat,

i am a cat.