some days it's all hearts and flowers and rainbows and sunshine through the light drizzle and the grass is green and the sun is warm and kind and your laundry is drying so nicely outside and you're all girly and giggly and feeling pretty inside and everything is just so wonderful you marvel at life and all things living and you thank the stars for being alive and everything goes your way and everyone smiles at your and you do a great job

you know that everything is going to be fine.

other days, it's scribbles and dots and thick red cancel marks and you try to rub very hard but the stains just smear all over and it gets worse because you fall deeper and deeper into the pit hole and can't get out like there's no escape button or no erase/undo function and all you can do is continue feeling worthless ugly and shitty while upholding a pretentious front trying to make everybody happy while secretly squirming inside

and then that's when reality hits you,

because, really,

there is no such thing as fine.

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soohf says the weather is nice.

i slept almost all day and missed all my lectures and woke up just only for training.

i know it's bad for doing laundry,

but i like that feeling.

but my fingers feel sad

because they feel very cold.

i wish i had a pocket i could put my hands into.

or something to keep them warm.

or maybe i wish i had stubs for hands like domokun.

i dont think he would ever feel cold.