a friend once lamented to me that the concepts behind economics are fundamentally flawed because of the primary assumption that humans are rational beings.

some things cannot be avoided;
cannot be dealt with;
reasoned, rationally;

like a drug addict drawn to his vice; a shoppaholic to her spending; a binge-eater to food; an OCD patient to her rituals and obsessions; a schizophrenic to imaginary voices; a drunkard to his alcohol; a wife to her abusive husband; a Münchausen's sufferer to feigning illnesses and symptoms; a depressive to self-mutilation; a girl to her tattoos; a boy to his piercings; a fan to his or her idol; a pessimist to his misgivings

uncontrollably drawn;
pulled towards;
absorbed into;
controlled;

we lie, we cheat,
we tell ourselves it will be alright;
we darenot say what lies ahead of us;
we dare not speak of what lies within us;

we will never be able to tell our mothers that we smoke pot; that we make out in the middle of cutting class; that we set the fire alarm on the spur of the moment; that we shoplift because of a silly dare; that we had sex out of peer pressure; that we stick out fingers into our throat in the toilet; that we leave scars and bloodstains on our wrists with pen knifes and tweezers; that we wash and scrub our hands until they turn red and sore; that all our good friends really dont exist; that we experience an unbelieveable high when we feel pain;


that sometimes because everything is out of control;
these are the only things we can do,
the only things we can grasp,
the only things we can hold;

that makes us feel alive.

nobody will ever know;
because nobody has the right to question,
and nobody ever should.

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today i ate waffles for breakfast.

they were nice,
but i wish there was peanut butter.

and maybe maple syrup.