mpsh 6, mpsh 6. ok, i dont think i'll forget.
i can't remember my number but it's ok, i can check.

eh, why are these people never see before during lecture one?
hmmm where's the noticeboard with the name and number list?...



tanwenlintanwenlintan...?? where's my name...?
...? HEAT TRANSFER/?!?!

what!

-------------------------

i sleep,
i wake up,
and everything is fine again.

right?

why do people

run when they know they will fall
try when they know they will fail
fight when they know they will lose
search when they know they can't find
reach when they know that it's too far





this my friend,

is all in the name of courage.

and of course,
to become strong.

where can i go??
how far can i go??
when will i go??
how should i go??
我想要去的地方..只有信念可以帶我
我想要完成的事..唯有信念可以成就
一天一天的凋零..我要到什麼時候
枯萎..再度..茁壯
輪迴會有多久.在哪.沒有人知道
就像時空裂痕一樣.稍縱即逝.
信念..帶在身邊..可以帶妳想去的地方
困境..是你最好的武器
混亂..是你大展身手的好時間
確保..是你維持生命的基本原則

in these words,
in your worlds,
let me become strong.

i always say,
it doesn't matter who does it, as long as he or she does the best job.






right?

if that's the case,
why do i feel so bad inside?

the only way out of this,
is to become stronger.

i've fallen in love.





it's incredible.
i feel the adrenaline running through my veins again;
my heart is racing, my palms are sweating,


it's been a long time.
welcome back.

who said dance is for the skinny only?

eating is terribly therapeutic.
suddenly i find munching just so assuring. every bite, every morsel,
whatever i eat, it doesn't matter. the taste isn't really getting into my tongue;
the food isn't really getting into my stomach.




i just need something to be there.

suddenly everything is coming. elections, exams, rag, holidays, expectations, obligations, responsibilities;　いろいろな物突然来た。

でも、楽しく無かったです。
今、そう思った。

today, when i went back to my room after dinner, i saw subway cookies hanging quietly in a plastic bag outside my door.


somehow,

it's just not the same anymore.
the excitement, the flurry, the delight.





maybe you had me wait too long.

far too long.

i know this is not right.


from all the things i've learnt,
the books i've read,
the people i've met,
the advice i've heard,

i know it's not natural.


but sometimes i think,
it's the only thing that keeps me alive.

i think i'm not ready.

it's like, just 2 semesters ago you told me, and i was kind of mentally preparing myself, so that i would get used to not seeing you around.
and then suddenly, you're not going! which is a good thing, shouldn't it be? not for you, but for me yes... how selfish...




and now again,

i have 3 months to get used to the feeling of not having you around.
again.

it will be a long wait.

------------------------------------

of amusements lately.

bus rides have become shorter nowadays, maybe because i dont sit alone anymore.
skit preparation sessions have become dorama watching marathorns and sessions of 'anything loh' from me.
mr m. looked incredibly geek-chic in his spanking new glasses today.
uber cool, uber smart, uber hot [i would even say, from a 3rd person pov]
and best of all, IQ x n, where n-----------> infinity

conclusion: i should get some geek chic glasses too.

of things a simple mind cannot understand:

----------------------------------------------------

i really cannot understand.





i mean, i like her and all,
but why does he...?

why is he so biased for her?

there must be something i'm missing out; some detail, some facet, some aspect
because,
because the way he talks about her;
the way his eyes look when it's her;
the light he puts her in;
it's different, different.
how other people, he, she, him, her, them, are put in a different light.
she's just different.

i mean, i like her and all, but

i really don't understand why he's so much for her.




i guess some things are simply beyond my thoughts and control.

'Want to have dinner together tmr? Lol its been a long time since we got chance to eat around the same time.'







this has got to be the best thing that happened to me this week.

--------------------------------------------
except the fact that the term paper is due tmr and i kind of finished it, the minutes are due later today and i finished typing them roughly, the presentation for pl3235 ended, the poster session for pl3251 ended, blah blah.



oh, and of course. i bought some nice clothes.

it's an overdue relevation, but
now it has finally dawned upon me, that clothes make the man/woman.
however superficial, skin-deep, dense, materialistic it may sound,
admit it, appearance is what counts.
at least for the first 5 minutes anyway.

what can you do, when you don't look good naturally?