i just realised that if i publish this post, it will spoil my nice 555 post count.





*thinks*
bor chup.


so as of late,i have been racking my brains playing with recycled materials, head buried in pictures of dresses made of plastic bottles, cans, blowdryers, coffeemakers, plastic bags, and whathaveyous. my hands have been stroking sewing machines, needles, thread, buttons, hooks.

sometimes it's 1am and i suddenly sit up from what i'm extremely immersely in, and think to myself; what the hell am i doing here?

who am i trying to deceive? i don't like this at all.
it's not that sewing is hard, or it sucks, or that the choreos are giving us a hard time [not yet at least] or my wardrobers are horrible [not at all] or i keep posing a threat to rag by breaking needles and depleting the rag fund.

i love fashion, i love design, i love the idea of working with fabrics and materials, pretty things, and sewing is fun. but i just despise this. i don't know what i'm doing sitting butt still in the airconditioned room, sewing machine infront of me.
i should be outside, in the heat, in the sawdust, in the metal residue, in the dirt, with everyone else.

my hands; they should be gripping a borsh electric screwdriver, or drilling a hole, or guiding a electric jigsaw or holding on to a metal grinder as i cut a metal bar.
my forehead should be dripping with sweat, my muscles aching, my eyes burning, my heart thumping.





i dont know what i'm doing anymore.
i miss engineering.


to you, yes you, you know who you are,
take it easy, okay dude?
if things don't turn out okay, don't worry... i think we all understand.

i really regret it. when i wasn't able to be a friend for you, when you needed friends the most, and now that you're around, i'm glad i'm able to make it up, and i just wish that things would be okay, and...




i just hope the best for you.

Hey, Jude, don't make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better

Hey, Jude, don't be afraid
You were made to go out and get her
The minute you let her under your skin
Then you begin to make it better.

And any time you feel the pain, hey, Jude, refrain
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders
Well don't you know that its a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder

Hey, Jude! Don't let her down
You have found her, now go and get her
Remember, to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better.

So let it out and let it in, hey, Jude, begin
You're waiting for someone to perform with
And don't you know that it's just you, hey, Jude,
You'll do, the movement you need is on your shoulder

Hey, Jude, don't make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better

things will be alright,
things will be fine.