nobody will understand my reluctance when i set into the shi-ai jo.
the way my heart pounds as if it were my first keiko; the way i have to wear my men really early to psych myself up; the way i sometimes talk to myself in that small little space wherein there is nothing but my single sole existence.

and then when the match begins, all reluctances flies away.


-------------------------------------------------------------
some random things here and there.

i'm amused by how skinny and slim the arms of the girls modelling for clothes sprees on taiwan online spree sites are. the average like sleeve opening size is 20 cm or smaller. and when they wear it, it's like loose! goodness. even wz has a arm circumference of 20. i measured mine. you dont really want to know.


i'm annoyed by how whao seems to think there is something going on between me and weijun. the funniest part is of all people, ME! shumin would know what i mean. -___- all this insider talk... it's really ironic. but well, that's how things are. you talk a little more with some people and then other people misjudge and interpret it the other way. *heaves a sigh* not that it matters anyway, mundane things.

i'm half amused half irritated by the way kitt and wenhao [wonder of wonders! taicho came to supper! *gasp* i should go buy 4D] talked about hall activities and rag during supper. i guess nobody would understand, and plus considering i always moan and groan about having to go saw wood, burn my holidays making some recycled material float subsisting on some kind of weird diet and totally irregular sleep cycle, it's no wonder people have a bad impression of rag/sets.

i kind of half tested my mom's reaction to my-potentially-joining-rag again this year. bad. period. like her mood, which was like unsually good [she's pretty happy when i go home during weekends sometimes because i always talk alot and say lame jokes and ask weird questions and pester her] just suddenly became foul.

but damn, i like it. i really really do.
which means i really have to think about things...

and of course nobody would understand my feeling towards kendo. no one outside of it, at least.
something godspeed said, i will never forget; it's difficult, that's why it's fun.
and i agreed. wholeheartedly.





i dont like how things are going. time is passing so fast, and this semester is ending. it's not just the end of my sophomore year; it signals something more crucial , more solemn, more ... heavy-hearted. and the worst part is that i'm not ready for it. im not ready yet to take up something like this...

i wouldn't say i'm dreading it, but, in the words of someone,
'too bad, that's life,'