it was quite some time ago when j and i were eating at this restaurant. i said something about whether he wanted dessert or not and then he replied that guys dont eat sweet things, they eat rice. and he said that chocolate is for girls. and then he went on about how fruits are for children, which i felt, was quite bizarre.

but he ordered dessert anyway, some strawberry colt tower and triple chocolate something myself. and then when the dessert came right, the waitress put the chocolate on in front of him, and the strawberry one in front of me.


i smirked.
chocolate is 'manlier' than strawberry? i figured.
amusing, anyway.

so this is kind of like an anecdote to this post. which is kind of corny because i seldom follow a format, knowing my randomness. you know, incoherence. but it fits in nicely i figure.

as you know, if you do even know me, even if just remotely, i have a lifelong weakness for desserts, or most things sweet for that matter. donuts, chocolates, éclairs,tarts,ice kacang, any kind of dessert or sweet pastry. the only thing i utterly detest that is remotely sweet is pandan cake. which seems to be a hot favourite with many overseas artists and they seem to buy them in the dozens back but this i cannot understand. but never mind that, one anomaly does not refute the trend.


i really don't know why.
sometimes i really just don't eat at all, but excessively at other times.
it's like i eat whatever whenever however i like. at the expense of whatever.

sweet things make me weak in the knees, because... i wonder why.
maybe because it's the mental connection [for me] between sweet things and momentary happiness and bliss. it's a treat when i've done well, a craving to be satisfied, and a comfort when i'm feeling blue. which is detrimental, really.




but sometimes i really feel like my diet is the only thing i can control.
it's always about control, but even something so simple can be so difficult to pull under rein. i just have trouble knowing when to stop sometimes.

however silly that sounds.

i had 1 donut today, anyway.
maybe the 'dessert is stored in another stomach' theory is starting to wear off me.

or maybe it's just the rain.