actually i'm really tempted to post about this torrid blister/bump i have right smack on the bottom of my left foot where my foot rests when i ka-ma-e, but it would be too whine-y and not really like that of me so i decided not to.

anyway, i realised,

nobody really understands or really bothers to understand how you feel.
it's like, everyone has his or her own worries, concerns, homework, assignments, family problems, injuries to bother about, it's hard to even try to be or pretend to be concerned about others. i think, in the end, it's all about self-determination and drive. it's really up to you to make it past any difficulties or hindrances in your way. people can give you advice, but ultimately it's your life, your choice.

quoting from jw: 'you should just wrap it up, suck it in and act like a real man'

[only i think he forgot i'm not, but im honoured that he sees me as being capable of being a real man and withstanding pain and torture and tolerating difficulties. it's the only way to be strong.]

which is why i make it a practice not to comment when people tell me they are injured and can't train, or they have too many deadlines and tests, so they can't go for training, etc. blah blah.
i guess, ultimately, it's your personal choice.

and i'm pretty glad i made my, albeit it being a painful one.
i'm glad i agree when jw asked me if i wanted to run together last night,
and im glad i ignored the nagging doubts and worries swirling in my head the past 3 days and decided to come for training today. another positive reinforcement-experience.

i guess sometimes it's the way you look at things?
it's pretty funny cause i can't really lift my left foot up much now, so it kind of eliminates or minimises my left-foot-shifting-before cutting problem. *smirk* i like. haha.
so maybe it's a blessing in disguise, a really bad disguise....

the running around the track with jw kind of make the thing smaller and less protruding [at least i dont feel it bulge under my foot above my slipper like a tumor] and today's training like of burst one of the larger bulges, and then the pus [is that the way to spell it] like of like seeped out....
haha, ewwwww...

but amusing, nevertheless.
there is still one bulge near the place between my big toe and second toe! so annoying. haha.

anyway, quite random, but apparently women have a threshold for pain that is 9 times that of men. probably due to childbirth.

it kind of reminds me of the time when huang lao shi was instructing us in the studio, and we were doing warm-up and stretching.
so like the other girls, i'd put my leg on the bar, and then stretch my hand to reach my toes and try to bend my body so it's be as close as possible to the leg on the bar.
and then i'd be secretly cursing all kinds of vulgarities mentally inside, while huang lao shi, which his curly hair, would do his customary little flick of the hand, and say,
'girls, pain is good, pain is good.'

i'm sure all the girls were thinking [myself included of course]
yeah, right.