things guys do are really beyond me. *shakes head*
i mean, i feel touched and stuff, but, *pauses*
it's still beyond me. *deadpan*


what, so now im disallowed to diet?
*amused.


i was thinking about how sickening today was, giving out flyers, pretending to listen to kids [i love them really and some of them are gorgeous but it gets immensely tiring after a while] and how hot and glaring the sun was, etc....

then i suddenly felt very glad.
you know, the sudden onset of chirpy-ness.
the whole the-world-is-so-beautiful-im-so-glad-to-be-alive thing.
it just happened. took me by surprise.

so,
while i still can,
while i still am,
let me list the things that make me happy,
the things that keep me going,
things i ve experienced but i miss badly,
the things that make this life worth living.

let's start from home, because no matter how much shit happens there once in a while,
its where MY heart is. and its the only place i can whine and complain and be high-maintenance and act like a brat [i do that sometimes nowadays, i think im regressing back to a child-like state as a result of extreme stress and pressure to act grown-up in school]

dad's irritating wittty impressive chinese idiom-phrase word play jokes.
or when he does satire on chinese politicians
or simply when he just acts funny or is in a cranky mood
it just cracks me up, tell me about it.

zhen's bor chub attitude towards me when i come back [i know she pretends to ignore, but i know she really loves me deep inside, HAHA YOU SILLY LEMMING]
her occasional giving in to my sometimes unreasonable pleas and moans and requests for food, attention, and other miscellaneous things [gosh im really starting to sound like 'id' in sigmund freud's theory...]

mom's smile, her invisible embrace, just her presence...

and even zhe,
when shes herself, when things are nice and peaceful,
everything is wonderful.


ok, the i move on to a bunch of 3 people i ve known for a good almost 1/3 of my life...

wife's phone calls, night talks when i run to her place for a short chat,
her encouragement, her criticism without witholding, her warm smile, her giggly and girly voice, [haha] AIYAH ITS JUST HER LA DAMNIT. LOL. =) its just fantastic to have her around.

going to japanese class on sundays with kon,sitting through nakai's stone-faced semi-dazed class wondering if hes an otaku,loitering around heartland mall deciding what to lunch on after,...

going to work at dragon city sichuan with babe [as much as i resent the job itself, and the UNIFORM URGH DONT TALK ABOUT IT], eating leftovers for supper, occasionally ice blended coffees afterwards, hers blackforest, mine caramel, the usual =)

and because of them

the blue school uniform, with grey and supposedly gold [its more like yellow] tie and grey skirt... and the semi-delapidated building which still stands at 1 cedar avenue;
yong tao foo from the middle stall with babe on wednesdays...
those were the good days...

i'd want to talk about kendo people, but kendo is the best thing that has happened to me since school started [dp sets doesnt count, neither does my room, b309] but there are too many to list so i figured i'd do it another time...

and as much as i would like to ignore or pretend, there seems to be plenty of reason for me to stay on in EH, should EH grant me a place in the first place [that sounds moronic. no, not the lexicality of the sentence, just the sound of it]

walking the way back after kendo practice with jiejing eating the subway cookies he donated to me, talking about random things, him aggro-ing me

photo-taking sessions with the ew people taking random shots of school, like pgp, the koi pond, some flowers by the roadsides, hugging the tripod...video editing sessions, with xinyu and huan jin and joshua and jj...

sawing wood, screwing drilling nailing blocks, breathing in sawdust with weiqi, mr m. wayne, small boy, hong jin, hippo head, etc... any about sets was just fun; building the scaffoldings, climbing up to them, cable-tying them... anything with these guys...

kimchi ramen from wayne, teaching him, correcting him, listening to his chinese...lol
drinking and talk cock sessions with mr m. and small boy; just hanging out, not doing anything, going for supper... putting stuff in mr m.'s fridge for store, sticking around to play with bob, watching mr m. play with bob [a grown man with a kitten is quite a sight =)]

watching bob sleep...
she's sleeping as i type...
=)

my heart is melting i swear.




*melts into a puddle*


these are the small things...
oh no, im feeling sleepy...
maybe its bob; sleepyness is infectious...