somehow i ve been experiencing a change of emotions. maybe its the feeling of settling down after mild feelings of like dissolve with time. its like i ve kind of gotten used to my habits, or rather the way i function, so i can kind of a work with life.

before you get to know a person, acute feelings of fondness overwhelm you. you feel happy to see the person smile, to say hello, to have a meaningless conversation. but nothing much can sustain these fragile and mercurial things, because they are fickle, just as human nature.
i dont suppose i ll ever be able to like anyone truthfully...


maybe its a self-protecting mechanism, but
im pretty much happy being the way i am.



im so bored. i ve been surfing the net trying to find fierce angel, hed kandi and MOS annuals to no avail. my lousy comp that hangs on notepad *pats computer* sigh. well...
the thought of buying makes tears roll down my fat chubby cheeks [which are considerably less chubbier, considering the stress and fatigue from sets] and how it ll burn a hole in my pocket...

it doesnt help that the adults seem to be getting less and less, well, generous when it comes to something we call red packet. i managed a measely 2 digit sum this year. gosh. *fake whine*
ok, forget that, whining is totally not my style. *smirk*






la dee dum. what to do now?....
im so bored....*slumps on table* i wish i had a more interesting life... i want to go to st james, kandi bar and the clinic but im pretty much broke and the guys have to be 1 year older, haha...sigh... i dont want to go out in fear of overspending on food, i dont want to stay at home and collect dust... gosh...
i think im reverting back to my little-enthusiastic-bubbly-jc-girl way of writing. gross.

i know i could always draw; i need to build my portfolio
but i havent got the motivation or inspiration... sigh, someone, show me the divine light!
-___________-

pardon me, im not in the right state of mind
i need someone to amuse me, to occupy me, to entertain me!
you know, my pesky sec 4 sister and i have a motto
'we annoy. we entertain. we irritate. life would be so boring without each other.'

its so boring when she isnt around. DEAD BORING!


if im really bored i could go shopping for girly clothes and be a cam whore and do all sorts of cutesy poses and act feminine and dress up nicely, because i can turn a few heads if i want to. but i suppose that would be so mundane


im so bored even mundane msn conversations sustain me.
its like those meaningless conversations that dont mean anything, dont summount to anything, dont lead to anything, and totally waste time. i know some friendships are forged based on it, but i doubt the authenticity and perseverance of these friendships...


i need to find a new 'it' song!
im so desperate im recycling old songs =( it sucks cause i ve already reached the max marginal utility but im still putting it on repeat... means im getting really really bored, insipid, mundane, whatever...



you know, im thinking, if i lose weight on purpose, i could wear nicer clothes [only because i think only beautiful people can wear nice clothes]. i ve always wanted to dress j-rock style but i think skinny girls look better in j rock. but its such a chore to diet. and mr m. has just given me the big no-no to diet. -____-

wenlin: if they *points to other girls who are slim already* can diet, why cant i???!>
mr m.: because, *pause, smile slowly forming on face* you are, *pinches wenlin's cheeks* soooo cuuuuuuuteeeeeeee!!!!!!


wenlin: ..............

im not sure eh. i ve had people tell me id look really good if i lost weight, but im not sure if im motivated or compelled enough to do so...
rather if people didnt ask me to, maybe id want to, for my own satisfaction....


i suppose i ll be big and strong, so i can protect other girls for now.
dont really feel the need to be protected.