i cannot describe the kind of joy, the kind of euphoric feeling that only a bipolar patient can achieve on a pseudo orgasmic high that i got when she looked at it and almost sighed with some heavy burden and said,

you have real talent.

for the first time in my life i have ever been so certain
what i want. what i am near. but it seems so hard, so faraway i just want to take the easy way out.


when was it when i last got a nod of acknowledgement?
sec two i think. the teacher read out a list of students that she recommended take art in future due to some talent she saw in us.

i cannot express the kind of pride i had when my name was read out, even though as expected.
alas, i was not brave enough.



i am now.
and i know what else i want.
two of my favourite things.
doing what i love via the medium i love the most.



life can seem so good sometimes.
but its still some time away.
till then.
life continues.