i like the feeling of being taken cared of.
as much as i would like to refute it, to deny it, to ignore it.

i like it.



its a nice warm feeling.
like listening to clazziquai singing bossa nova on a rainy day.
like im being hugged.
like im being appreciated.
like my presence is felt.

like im a girl.
its quite surprising. really.... unexpected.
not that id like things to change. they are fine just the way they are.
a little funny, a little odd, a lot nice.


on another note.
i am considering whether to throw you away.

because when i saw you
i felt the same kind of churn in my gut
the same kind of lurch in my heart

and as you sat by quietly in a corner partially hidden by others
you seemed calm. you seemed at peace. you seemed at ease.
because you seemed alone.
and despite all your pure and all your transparency
i could see the effect of yellowing age on you
you are no longer as white, as pure, as beautiful as you were.

yet i yearn for you
just as
my hand automatically reached to brush the others aside
because you are mine.


my lovely transparent umbrella with a lovely white handle
what should i do with you?
my brain says to throw you away
he despises your broken edge, your weakness and your inability
but my heart pleads for you to stay
she feels a deeper connection with you beyond mere falsities.


on yet another note,

the first time i saw you
i knew you had to be the one
because black has always been a inner desire

you kept me at ease, you kept me relaxed
it was always comforting with you around
you are simple, you are honest, you are frank

yet you seem like a really bad bargain
your foundation not laid well,
you keep me falling down!
on rainy days
when the floor is wet
walking seems like a dangerous affair


its raining so badly nowadays that my friends at the chinese restaurant, who come from china, say its the 'winter' for singapore. quite apt however. and i keep slipping giving them the impression that im a klutz.
oh well. its not as if i want to. hui chiang has officially labelled you as 'hazzard footwear'

but i couldnt be bothered much really. your sole is wearing off, your grids are disappearing, your design is so simple with not elaborate decoration. but does this all matter/ you only cost mom a dollar. and i never bothered to spend time or money to buy slippers anyway/



its so like me to use a spoilt umbrella and a pair of hazard slippers.
right?


on my last note.
oh, you mean that,
yeah i know. i know.
i knew it all along. just that i never found out.
so thats it.

what genre of music do i like?
bossa nova.

dance now, hold your breath, dont you cry, take my hand, hold your breath, the night is young
dance now, hold your breath, show your smile, take my hand, hold your tears, the love is young.