this is me

i just realised


to mom and dad
im the rebellious, relentless, unyielding, mature, radical girl who used to be a the c***st, [no, im not saying it!] chubbiest most adorable baby. im that little girl who loved to sing ktv in front of all the adults, im the kid who loved frilly ribboned dresses, im the girl who did all sorts of poses because i was so photogenic
im the girl who grew up having a brief love affair with contemporary art, chinese dance, calligraphy, singing
the girl who harboured a lifelong love for the chinese language
im the girl who carried the burden of being the only possible succesor to dads wealth of chinese literature, culture, knowledge and language
im the girl who yearned to be the son dad never had
the girl who drank with dad
the girl who always liked to talk to mom
im that girl with wings waiting to fly

to big sis
im that cranky, always niao her, always cheer her up, always encourage her, always pour her cold water, always annoy her middle sis. im the cute little baby she decided will have the second name lin
thus,
wen'lin'

to wz
im her lifelong shifu and tormentor. she is mylifelong disciple and nemesis.
we annoy, we entertain, we lame, we irritate, we poke, we play, we comfort.
life would be so boring without each other.

to qiu han
im the friend she can speak to and feel most at ease with
her best friend, whom she describes as ' that cool looking girl' to her other friends
the girl who is obviously a girl but can seem so much like a guy
the girl who told her that should she be a guy she would take care of her forever
the girl who promised her that even when we re old our friendship would never die

to hui chiang and qiu ping
im the cranky 1/4 of SOUP! :)
im the one with a horrid temper, the one with the lamest jokes, the one with the weirdest ideas
im the girl with the freaky desire for sweet stuff
im the one who seems to hold her liquor as well as a guy

to darell and weiling
im the lame, guy like, cool, yet girlish 1/3 of the 3 of us.
forever we will be
the cat, the pig and the dog!

to fellowship of the sing
im that rolly, polly. jolly samwise the neighbourhood gardener
who annoyed people, who pestered people, who emailed them to remind them to drink lots of h20 and take care of themselves.
im the candidate whos speech was so boring that i beat the hot favorite to become the secretary 2004/5
because i am reliable and responble

im the one who said

2004/5 choir comm
we were elected for a reason
because we are good


to my dearest gf, ash, and sing bearer, frodo
im the trustyworthy, reliable samwise. im the, 'better than a real bf!' bf.
because you always make me feel worried about you! because you always put others before yourself
because you always make me want to protect you
because i want to be strong

to s13, now and before. and to be.
im the girl carrying the cool oversized guys billabong bag [frmph, sexist!the tag says its a mens bag. T_T]
im the girl who always liked to act like a guy, im the girl who never laughed at the jokes all the girls laughed at
im the girl whom the guys always liked to treat like a guy
quote anthony : 'war lou, its like, BE A MAN LOH, wenlin' *guai lan OMG panda face*
haha
im the girl who felt like an outcast, who felt outof place
but always felt right
right right there. because nowhere else seemed more right.

because we are astatine.

we even have our own element in the periodic table!

to yi gang, im the pesky always-like-to-niao-him-more-man-than-him chem remedial partner
to jia yong, im the irritating girl who always talk to him on 157, go NTUC to buy meiji coffee milk :)
to joyce, im the girl who always very on about 157 gang, the girl who always asked about her pet hamsters,
the girl who liked xiao hei [hammy hahah, not ah long la.]

to pw group, kim, ming juan, youzhi and aaron
im that girl named elmo tan wen lin [stupid youzhi, you re not much better, NEMO]
im the girl who kept saying we wouldnt be getting back our files since they d be under the ref section for MODEL PW FILES
im the girl who suggested taking pw group neoprints [which we still havent, haha]

to ulu mac crew v day crew, hui hui, ah heng, bready and youzhirella, michelley
im that 1/6 of you
we had some brilliant times together.
im the girl who suggested giving youzhirella a mango for vday
and a watermelon for heng

to fanny
im the one
your friend
was
im the girl who annoyed you because im like you mother
just like you were the girl who made me cry in public for the first time in my life
i was the girl
you couldnt really understand
i was the girl
you took for a spare tyre

im the girl
you had a friendship with
thanks for those memories. it was great knowing you.

to the royal family, royal pet, princess, knighty and pet tamer
im the funny, lame, downtoearth, green jester
always juggling balls, listening to royal pet complain and gossip. laughing at knighty and sharing some girly stuff with pet tamer and pink princess.

to nj choir
im the chao enthu, odd sop with the damn manly voice but always sing the highest part
im the girl who shocked all the guys by going down lower in the scale than the lowest alto
im the sop with a high high head voice, who loves singing the melody
im the pseudo bass [i wish!] with the more manly than man chest voice
im the choir member with a sucky mid range cos i couldnt change properly between my head and chest voice

to nyps chinese dance, to huang lao shi
i was the girl who seemed so reluctant to dance elegant chinese dance moves and prefered to learn the entire indian dance move steps from my best friend lin xin instead
ah, racial harmony day. :)
im the girl who had the spirit of beat and the soul of rhythm instilled in me
1 2 34, 2 234, 3 234,....

huang lao shi. im that girl who always couldnt stretch properly
im the yellow 1/7 of the 7 colourful fairies.
complete with disgusting plastic pseudo vine rope thingys with plastic flowers.
ah. kallang theatre.
ah, beijing.

to cedar choir, to jayanthi and priya
i was the girl pai seh to go up higher on the scales, who underestimated my vocal range
im the girl who miss tham asked to sing higher and higher and when i stopped, shook her head and smiled at
im the girl who was sop one but didnt even know what a soprano or alto was
im the girl who thought she was alto one
i was the damn pai seh, nearly cried out when had to stay back for sectionals sec one sop 1
im the proud, confident, hardworking, chao bia sec 2 who sang as if i meant the world
i was 1/2 of the powerhouse sops [jayanthi!]
i was 1/3 of the 3 musketeers.

to bingxi
im the one always asking him weird questions
i was the girl who told him he looks better with specs
i was the girl who told him i like his eyes and his smile
i was the girl who said he is brilliant
im the girl he didnt quite know how to describe

to ben
im the girl who always liked to annoy him and talk to him online
im the girl who always complained that he looked very tao and never said hello
im the girl who always tried very hard to understand him, to give in to him
im the girl who always had the lamest things to say, leaving him '............'
im the girl who stuck out her tongue at him in a cheeky way
i am a special friend.

to ck
i was that junior who wrote a letter to apologise to him for being tao.
i was that junior who liked to talk to him, whom owned the blog which he crowned, 'the best blog' he ever read
im the girl he always couldnt and cant understand

to hs
im the girl who always likes to rub his rambutan head
i was the girl who always had sth to say, something to make fun of him
i was the girl who started calling him 'rambutan' [and shortly after, everyone followed suit!]
im the girl he liked to ask gossip from, but never had any gossip to share
im the girl he and lionel stayed up the last night in germany to sit at the hotel lobby stairways to talk about relationships with
[lionel has the evidence! we took a pic outside the hotel, past 3 am i think, we got locked out, heh heh]

to kenji
im sunflower, im jap girl, im wenlin
im the girl who thought he was jap
im the girl who told him that i drink more green tea than a real jap
im the girl who refused to say c***
im the girl he called 'cool' and 'dudette'
im the girl who spammed his tag board, who poked him to update
im the girl whom he anyways managed to cheer up
he always made me smile

to those from wholivesnearyou
im the girl who always started those weird thought provoking threads
'is monogamy the best system?'
im the girl who always answered with weird thoughts and weird statements supported
im the girl who seemed to always have sometime witty and weird to say
im the nj girl who always seemed to manage to link any post to econs


all this
did i miss anything out?
im sure i did. but i have a bad memory. forgive me.

all this.
and more


but what am i to myself?

i am

the girl who cant accept the fact that i am c*** and tries hard [maybe too hard] sometimes to be cool
im the girl who told herself not to trust or depend on anyone else
im the girl who built a tough shell to protect myself
im the girl who always likes to act tough
im the girl who likes to go to NTUC to see whats on offer
im the girl who knows that werthers original is cheaper 10 cents if you buy it in NTUC than at cold storage
im the girl who hates shopping
im the girl who is a cheapskate but spent 60 on a bag [yes, THAT bag.]
im the girl who reads wikipedia in her free time
im the girl who likes long hair but cuts it short
im the girl who walked home barefoot twice, smiling, because it was fun
im the girl who feels like she can conquer the world [with a song]
im the girl who feels insecure if she goes out empty handed
im the girl who loves big bags
im the girl who is guy but not guy enough. girl but doesnt want to.
im the girl who feels vulnerable, without a song [my beloved mp3]
im the girl who likes to make mistakes and leave regrets because its beautiful
im the girl who has a green obsession
im the girl who has a fetish for everything and anything anyone beautiful
im the girl who taps her feet and bobs her head when she listens to a brilliant song
im the girl who is fascinated with love, music, food, life, thoughts, dance
im the girl who is afraid to be alone
im the girl who is a natural romantic but a circumstancial realist
im the girl who believes that love lasts forever

i guess thats me.