i dont really like this feeling. its like, im supposed to be free but im tied down. you understand what i mean? i mean, officially theres nothing, but still theres like an invisible orpe tying me...

not that i really mind.. i like the feeling of it being there
like i belong
i feel like i actually belong... for once


not some weird wandering spirit, not some homeless unwanted stranger
for once i belong to


but i sort of crave the freedom
i imagine myself spinning around
or maybe its just the earth spinning
everything is moving so fast i cant tell if its me or the earth
but i scream and i yell and i close my eyes and i feel the wind playing with my hair and i see everything and everythings in a whirl and the world is a mess but its so beautiful


its a weird feeling
i get it seldom. sometimes lah.

its wonderful to be alive. and its wonderful to be me.
i was so bored i did a yahoo search on 'tan wenlin'
not bad. quite a few results. but mostly some people with the same name as me or the blogs of some people i know with links to me...


would i believe you if you lived in 1977 and i live in 2005 and we can communicate via a spoilt transmitter?
i always like to watch weird movies. point taken. ditto is rather good a movie actually, but i didnt like the ending because in the end
the girl lost everything
she never had anything
so i guess thats not losing anything right?


i wonder whats wrong with me. like i got one screw loose or what

i want to spin round and round and round until im so fast im moving so fast i cant think and all i feel all i am is the wind


im trying to look for the movie il mare. but its quite old. i cant believe these koreans let the bloody americans make a remake of it using SANDRA BULLOCK as the female lead. HELLO??? sandra bullock? she ll never have the same gentle brooding yet happy disposition that my sassy gf actress whatever her name is in korean i cant rmeber has. keanu reeves is ok as the male lead. he should be able to act as the melacholic male lead with a tinge of humour, mostly dark


crap. i think i should wake up. a mailbox that can carry letters past time? a transmitter that can allow people to talk through a hole in time?
what? so tomorrow when i check the mailbox there ll be some fello writing to me fromm 2010?


i wish that would happen. or at least sometime as exciting. or half as.


casshern is a good movie. i liked it a lot. i cant believe i bought the vcd just like that on impulse. but it was quite cool. but rather sad also. so sad i couldnt stop thinking about it even till bed time. sigh

charlie and the choc factory isnt that good. trust me. if you read the book, u d be slightly sad. oompa loompas arent supposed to look all the same. in the movie they re carbon copies of each other, not to mention they have choreographed dance moves and songs and its so bloody synchronised that it was rather revolting
that aside, depp was great. i mean, acting wise
the kids too. brilliant.


but maybe its just me. im always expecting too much out of life such that when the real thing comes i always get so bloody disappointed

update: currently fish count for no of fishes in my dads tank
big fat ZERO
at least that means no innocent lives to take.


sigh. i want to run away.