yawn. before anyone dies of boredom reading my boring story, here i am with another typically lame and cynical wenlin entry.

feeling a wee bit tired. on the way home going out the main gate, walking shoulder to shoulder with sida and ben (if it were possible, we re all of different heights hahah) we passed a huge tree
and weirdly and creepy enough
i felt a sudden urge to wrap my arms around the trunk of tree, DAMMIT!

i rmbr feeling washed out after cip, feeling lost and lonely and useless and tired and homesick...
walking down the escalator in borders, my lazy bum actually felt like landing itself right down on the not-so-clean surface of the escalator steps.

so... tui2 fei4. thats the only phrase i can think of that can really describe it la.

right side pimple erupted. i was getting so used to it being there that when it erupted i was so shocked and like...annoyed even. cos i get really uncomfortable with people looking at my face, trying to hide their 'oh she has a huge zit on her face' expression
i know nobody means it, but well,... and i decided. more pimples are better than one or two.

cos a patch would just blend in. ONE would STICK out. haha.

weird. not like im super vain or wat...and i must admit that i would never feel uncomfortable in front of qiu han and weiling and darell and hui chiang and qiu ping even if i had a huge pimple on the tip of my nose of what.

maybe its late puberty. onset of huge vanity. urgh.

ya ya ya. the secrets of the yaya sisterhood. urgh, i must be going mad. tmr got lots to do...

im really starting to feel like the farmer, just thinking of all the stuff to do, people to remind and call and inform and stuffs. urgh. anyway i know the eight steps to rice cultivation lolx i am a good elec geo student :D and mr ang said we are like farmers.
i get his point
the point is, we havent uncovered GREEN REVOLUTION yet
AHA~ thus we are still poor farmers stuck in the visous cycle of poverty. sad life.

:( i think my sadist side is getting to me. my cheery side.

you know, sometimes i watch shows, i always find myself emphathising with the supporting character role much more than the lead... cos in life, some people will have to play the sidekick roles...
for me, i never minded it that much. i made a pretty good sidekick anyway. but somehow, inside my small, kiddy soul, i always yearned to be the cool lead. who knew exactly what to do, what to say.

maybe one day there ll be a story of my own la. not now, not yet.

and i hate being treated like a substitute for someone else. it sucks. totally. i rather be reduced to dust or ashes or nothing or whatever. GRRRRRRR... :(

its hard to love anyone else
because you re the only one
who loves me for myself
for who i am
and no one else.

:) haha i crapped that one up. :P anyway this is for qiu han, the only person i can envision myself growing old with. :) cos i can see it, me sitting next to her, her face and mine all old and wrinkly, and our dear grandchildren running around, by our side. then we would talk to each other, rocking on our rocking chairs, until we re both tired and fall asleep.
it would be really easy to understand that after trusting someone so deeply, it is hard to trust another person with the same depth...issues with trust? maybe....im just not as gullible as what those personality tests say i am... or at least i hope not.T_T

trusting is good. but gullible is bad. where to draw the line? being open is good, but transparent is bad. whats the different again? i think sometimes my brain works too simply... how can you test if you can trust someone? hmmm how was it that qiu han gained my trust? haha must be her very blur smile...

during the first day of school, i was, as usual, feeling scared but trying to cover it but putting on my extremely tao face... and to my surprise, this bespectacled nice cheena looking girl came up to me and said
hi my name is qiu han. you are?
thank god.:) thank you thank you thank you

if i could. if i were a guy, im sure i would go after qiuhan. haha, but im not, im straight, haha and female, :) so what i can do is...:) la la la

wonder how ashghee is doing...on plane :) haha. wells.
:( cant help feeling a bit lost... just for a little while. let me wander in the woods for just a little while more. i ll come back, cos i know i have lots of things to do, and promises to keep...miles to go before i can sleep? hhaa nostalgia. robert frost..

it s ten thirty le. im thinking of what to do with the ninety bucks earned from carolling...but its so little, not enuf to buy a new cd player...:( can buy a device that can record human sound either. hmmm so how. maybe use to treat the seniors? damn...haiz. :( ninety bucks...

making a long entry.
the other day i was rewatching spidey two with my peeps at home. while my sis s dad and mom all kept silent during the movie, i kept yelling and squirming especially when stupid irritating mj came on the screen

i rmbr last time watch wif royal family, i kept cursing and scolding mj while furiously digging for sweet popcorn and rambutan was also trying to compete wif me cos he also only like sweet one lol and princess was giggling and knighty was so diao lol his face...T_T

did i tell you i giggle lately? absolutely disgusting. im gonna cut this bad habbit.

bastard. i suppose all guys like such...such shitty girls. thats enuf to deter me from liking guys already. feeling edgy now. shes such a ... bitch. its the only word... jump from guy to guy, doesnt she feel ashamed? and she doesnt look pretty at all... if i could be a starlet, i would want to be ... scarlett johannson.

~eternity moment~ one moment can change anything.

:D waaaa lost in translation:) la la la...

xian la. i cant think of anything le.thats all for now :)