ok, to avoid being emotional, i ll state things as a matter of a factly today.


ok, woke up late.
bide for modules.
went for meeting with jss.
typed out minutes for meeting.
kon san passed me her textbooks to help sell; she gave me a box of butter cookies! =D
[i ve never been a fan of them but since she gave them to me, it has her love =3]
siew koon came back from japan!
she bought domokun for me!

DAMN HAPPY.

went back to hall.
jiejing came to my room.
we talked a bit about kendo, school, results, holidays.
we got ready and went for kendo.
at kendo today...
......
frmph.

as as-a-matter-of-a-factly as i can,
we did motodachi practice
erm, i ashi-ed too slowly and when suresh pushed my hip to make me ashi faster i slammed onto the floor.
i was stunned, not so much as scared, sad, or anything.
just
!!!!!!!!!!!!!

like,
HUH?

well, then i felt quite lousy and weak after that.
its a sad feeling to feel lousy. but i guess its a vicious circle.
i got up and resumed practice, but when people came to ask me if im ok,
i was so touched, that....
never mind what happened; its so embarrassing i just want to dig a hole and hide inside it.

after a few breaths and looking up and the ceiling and rubbing my nose,
i was back to normal mode.
frmph.

erm, zhen yuan told me my bogu was too big.
actually i thought so too earlier when i first got it, but no one said anything and i didnt know what it was supposed to be like, so i thought it was correct.
may have to change with a club one, or contact eugene

learnt to wear tenogui and men today.
was very slow and lousy and tying.
DETERMINED TO BE FASTER. GRRR.
=( sigh.

erm.....
after i changed, i realised i had a big blue black on my knee cap cause i landed on my knee during the face flat fall.
i felt bad about making suresh feel bad about the fall.
i didnt think he was fierce or demanding at all. =)
i was just sad that im so lousy.

never mind that.

went back with jiejing.
felt bad, because he kept trying to talk to me to cheer me up.
i know it, cause he usually doesnt talk that much; im usually the one talking but today i didnt talk much. it was so throw face because the mucus was clogging my nose and it was red and my eyes were red too.

now i understand why my friend once told me
she kept long hair so it could cover her face

sometimes fringes are useful
i wish i could do a handstand so it wouldnt roll down my face; so embarrassing.
worst part is, i didnt even find it harsh or anything. but everyone was so caring and concerned, i felt so bad about it. so useless.

will not happen again.
these things seem to be happening very often nowadays.
sigh.



jie jing is a very good friend.
he bought a drink for me [again, sigh]
tried to cheer me up,
offered to help carry my bogu back to my room, since i had to go to do dp sets stuff immediately
=) sigh.
yuen mei is very encouraging.
suresh is very encouraging also.

sigh.


went for dp sets.
we didnt do much for bamboo today cause we assembled the spare parts for the chairs already;
we just had to saw the plywood for the cover for the stands.
marcus noticed i wasnt my usual self.
i guess i really am annoyingly cheerful and talkative usually.
i was just thinking about things this week: results, kendo, myself...
i wasnt sad, just kind of disappointed with the state i was in....
he tried to cheer me up.
=(

gosh,
it seems like im so needy
everybody cheering me up.

=)
we cut the plywood and assembled and screwed the stuff.
work ended quite soon after that since kendo ended late and jie jing and i waited so long for bus B
then we arranged to eat supper together.
yay. first official dp sets supper. =)

after i showered, i realised i got a rather prominent blueblack on my kneecap.
i mean, i ve fallen n times before on both kneecaps so my legs are seriously weathered, but usually i get bloody wounds. blueblacks are not so common for me.
it was quite amusing, because it looks like i have 2 kneecaps on the same leg.

its nothing close to the blueblacks the seniors have though.
estee showed me a picture of hers and it was really astronomical.


well. its all about pushing your limits.
pretty soon i ll get used to it.
then i understood why i couldnt seiza properly after i fell. it was the lump on the kneecap. lol.
as the realisation dawned upon me, it was suddenly quite funny.

went for supper with sets people.
it was nice talking to them =)



and now, here i am.
yep.